Absorption Read online

  The reply didn’t come from the youngster. When Michael spoke, his voice was deep and confident. “You’re certainly welcome to question him later.”

  Michael turned from Williams to Brett. “Our technologies, like any technologies, have certain dangers associated with them. Have your investigations turned up evidence of dangers severe enough to nullify all the proven medical and economic benefits of our nanotechnology, yet so subtle that people must be prevented from making their own choices at a cost of millions of lives?”

  Although the words had been directed at Brett, Williams answered. “Perhaps we will be more willing to share our observations when we know they will feed dialogue rather than a propaganda circus.”

  “I wish you had expressed your desire for dialogue earlier. Much of value could have been learned. All we’ve heard from you is a series of escalating and unsatisfiable demands.”

  Michael continued, his voice confident and resonant. “Gentlemen, if self interest lay behind your demands, we could negotiate. The problem is that the true driving force behind your aggression is fear, and that can be neither appeased nor negotiated away. All the concessions offered by the previous government were misguided, and since you refused a peace treaty based on them, those offers may properly be withdrawn.”

  In his peripheral vision, Brett could see Williams was as stunned as he. The Federalists Worlds would find it almost impossible to back down with nothing to save face with. Much of their power depended on their threats being taken seriously, so they could use the twin weapons of force and threat of force to maintain an aura of invincibility. Oceania was almost forcing them to go to war.

  Michael seemed unperturbed by their expressions. “My assessment may seem harsh, but Ambassador Williams, consider your own case. You’ve been as polite as possible. I’m aware that your selection for this post was a compromise between politicians representing Old York and other forces of your alliance not quite so eager for war, but can you tell me that even being in our presence doesn’t discomfort you?”

  To make his point, he casually moved his hand as if to touch Williams’ arm where it lay on the table. Demoralized as he was, and without a moment to steel himself, Williams flinched away.

  Michael turned politely to Brett. “Although you actually seem more comfortable presenting the Federalist hard line than does the Ambassador, you somehow don’t display the same visceral fear and loathing. While we’re glad you’ve enjoyed visiting our beautiful world, at times your activities have seemed almost frivolous considering that your alliance is considering starting a war that will turn it into a bloody battleground.”

  If Michael had been elected he must be somewhat popular. How could Brett hope people would care about his side of the story about the seduction of Michael’s lover by an off-worlder? The sick feeling in Brett’s stomach intensified, although Michael hadn’t mentioned that explicitly. He met Michael’s eyes and spoke in a calm and friendly voice. “I certainly hope any personal feelings you might have about my frivolous behavior won’t get in the way of our working together to prevent the worst case outcome you seem to be referring to.”

  “Certainly not. An emotional negotiating partner who balked at reasonable requests might well take offense and construe certain behaviors as a personal insult – or an insult to their government or world. Since we’re the rational ones here, we’ll do everything possible to help you salvage your pride as you withdraw, but undefined fear is a bottomless pit that cannot be filled.”

  He was clever in some ways but stupid in others. The open statement that any concessions were solely to salvage Federalist pride as they backed down would of course make withdrawal more difficult. Yet this encounter had clearly been discussed in advance. So many diplomats had missed the obvious. Or had they?

  Fortunately, the Ambassador was ready to speak while Brett was still thinking through the situation. “Fear itself is not always a bad thing. It can help avoid disaster.”

  “Rational fears can lead to precautions, yes. Your irrational fears cannot.

  “Even if we could accept your terms, history shows the permanent suppression of useful new technologies, once discovered, is impossible. If we don’t explore it, someone less ideologically friendly to the Federalist alliance will, human or otherwise. If they could be suppressed, for humanity to stick their heads in the sand, fearing they know not what, would still harm our collective spirit.”

  The man was quite a talker. Brett noticed the clever use of one undefined long term fear to counter another one.

  Michael’s overlong speech continued. “Quite frankly, we feel that fear needs to be faced, so our efforts to avoid making it look as if the Federalists were backing down might not be as thorough as they could be.”

  Some in the audience may have had an inkling of what was coming, but many faces seemed subtly dismayed. Brett wondered if Michael’s allies had really known the extent of what they were letting themselves in for – and what role he played in the new government.

  “If you’re worried that lack of tact or … something else might have led you into a position detrimental to the Federalist Worlds, it is the Federalist Worlds themselves which have put you into an impossible position. Both to avert a war crime and prevent the subsequent humiliation of the Federalist Worlds, you should resign your commission in protest.”

  Resigning now would be desertion in the face of the enemy. An illegal order he could have refused – even if it meant his court martial and disgrace. Killing unarmed civilians was an illegal order. Occupying a planet wasn’t. Even if the Federalist Worlds were in the wrong, he could never betray them.

  Even at the cost of Ariel?

  Brett felt sick. Michael smirked, and his smooth voice continued, “While all the concessions previously offered are withdrawn, there is still one possibility if you feel further communication prior to the opening of hostilities serves a purpose. You can attempt to participate in the overmind. We might come to understand your reasons better than you currently understand them yourself.”

  Michael smiled again, perhaps knowing the idea of joining the overmind filled Brett with horror. Yet turning down the offer would make the Federalist Worlds look worse yet, emphasizing Michael’s claims of unreasoning fear.

  Ambassador Williams spoke for them both. “We shall both of course obey whatever instructions we receive from our government. And we will report your position to our superiors now.”

  Then they walked out. There was nothing else left to do.

  Chapter 21

  On previous visits Brett had considered Williams’ windowless office depressing. Now the artificial lighting and mechanical ventilation were too cheerful to fit his mood. Other than that it was the perfect cave to repair to and lick their wounds. Eventually he spoke. “Who’s gonna start the post-mortem?”

  Williams replied, “That’s the wrong word. We’re not doing a post-mortem. Nobody died.”

  Brett nodded gloomily. At least not yet.

  Williams spoke again when it was clear Brett wouldn’t. “What the hell do they want from you anyway? You’ve already joined the overmind!”

  Brett shrugged. “The word is used different ways. There’s a core of a few thousand people who develop many of the medical and technological innovations that give Oceania their standard of living. They can actually think together as a collective consciousness.”

  Williams nodded. “We use some of this tech in military research facilities. It would have saved you stress if you’d been better briefed about what you weren’t doing.”

  Brett replied, “I nerved myself once, I don’t know if I can do it again.”

  After they sat silently for a moment, he added, “Why should you?”

  Brett had had a few clues he could have guessed from – but he realized Williams wondered why he should take such a drastic step, joining the hive mind more deeply than he already had. He took a deep breath, then exhaled, but his thoughts wouldn’t go away. “Because this mess is my fault.”

/>   Williams frowned. “What?”

  Brett stared at the desk. “If I had taken negotiations more seriously, tried harder to be diplomatic and respectful, maybe looked deeper for concessions we could make – if I hadn’t been at cross purposes with you – the Oceanians might have listened to us more in turn.”

  “Brett.”

  He looked up.

  “Senator Peterson chose you because of who you were. You’ve never pretended to be a diplomat, and no reasonable person would blame you for not being one. If you had been, Peterson would have picked someone else.”

  “Thanks. If you come up with a reason it was OK for me to screw a famous Oceanian woman – or a reason my failure to learn who she was earlier didn’t indicate negligence or arrogance – I’ll feel a lot better.”

  Williams replied slowly, “That was impulsive, but you’re being one-sided. Few would dare inject nanomachines into their veins. You’re blaming yourself for something that was pretty much a foregone conclusion before you arrived.”

  Brett laughed bitterly. “So blaming myself is megalomania instead of conscience? Maybe.”

  “I never said that.”

  Brett agreed. “I said it. You’re being pretty nice about this considering I didn’t even tell you about Ariel afterwards.”

  Williams said, “Thank you for noticing. I’m aware you were encouraged to communicate directly with the ship to avoid being contaminated by my weakness.”

  “That’s about the size of it. Sorry.”

  “Since you bring it up, tell me, how did you and Ariel become involved?”

  Brett shifted his weight. The new visitors’ chair in Williams’ office was comfortable for short periods, but not for long ones. A good time saving idea, actually, but Brett had other things on his mind right now. “I believed she was being harmed by both Michael and the overmind. I saw a wonderful opportunity to rescue a damsel in distress and get laid at the same time.”

  “Sounds reasonable enough.”

  Brett shrugged. “Given my failure to learn what was going on around me using the nanotechnology provided by our hosts, my actions were only slightly rash.”

  Williams pulled open a drawer on his side of the desk. “Doctor Casey prescribed something for me whenever I started beating myself up.”

  He pulled out a bottle of clear fluid and two shot glasses. He filled them each with a finger and a half of liquid, and handed one to Brett.

  They drank simultaneously. It turned out the Embassy had good vodka.

  Then Williams said, “Your phantom guilt is academic anyhow. The Oceanian offer could hardly have been sincere.”

  “Why not? They know their technology much better than I do. They’re probably hoping to learn useful things from me – much more than I could learn from them.”

  Williams admitted, “On second thought that makes sense. Our bosses will be the ones to forbid it.”

  “Speaking of going behind your back, I was speaking with a certain Lieutenant General Pendergastman.”

  Williams said, “I’ve heard of him. You’re better off with Colonel Barr.”

  Brett replied, “I’ll remember if I ever have a choice. I was told Barr wasn’t ‘available,’ and not expected to be available in the foreseeable future. Anyway, they have some N-space drive and weaponry questions they think I’ll be able to answer, if I’m genuinely made part of the supermind.”

  “Fuck them.”

  “The thought occurred to me. Between the way Peterson manipulated us, the things they knew about the overmind on Roundhouse and didn’t tell me, and their eagerness to sacrifice me for something that doesn’t even affect our mission here, I’m feeling a tad betrayed.”

  He had volunteered because he wanted to avoid war if it were unnecessary, not to look for the technological scraps Pendergastman wanted now.

  Williams said, “So you won’t do anything rash.”

  Brett grinned fiercely. “Depends what you call rash. I may be a pawn to Peterson, a dupe to the Space Force, and nothing to the Federalist Worlds, but I have options. I may become part of a huge supermind which understands things that their puny brains cannot comprehend. Some people here will tell you the hive mind is mostly a collaborative tool for science and technology, and people who try to use it to contemplate philosophy and religion are crazy. Many of those who actually take part say otherwise.”

  As he spoke, Brett leaned forward, and his voice became more and more intense. He finished, “Soon I may know truths beyond human understanding.”

  Williams’ eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”

  Brett leaned back in his chair, and assumed a more normal expression. “Actually, no. I get a perverse satisfaction from imagining it, but the thought of really doing it scares me silly.”

  The Ambassador said, “The fact that they won’t let Barr speak to you is actually good news. They’d use him if they could, because you trust him. He can’t communicate with you, but he’s got to be fighting for you up there.”

  A companionable silence filled the next few minutes.

  Brett spoke first. “I’m going to see Ariel soon, mostly to say goodbye, but also to see if I could even do this overmind thing. Many people can’t. That would tie up all the loose ends.”

  Williams looked at him hard. “Be careful.”

  Brett sprawled awkwardly over Ariel’s couch, legs stretched out, rear end towards the edge of the couch, back slumped partly onto the seat. Ariel curled up against his side, crying into his chest.

  If she had blamed him or accused him he could have defended himself, but since she didn’t he could only hold her, right hand curled around the back of her head, and her soft blond hair.

  When she had cried herself out there was silence for awhile. Then she asked, “How long do we have?”

  Brett didn’t want to force the words out. “If we’re smart, tonight is the last time we see each other. War is ugly. People could accuse you of consorting with the enemy.”

  She lifted her head and looked at him unbelieving. She had never seen a whole planet of people looking for someone to blame. Even now it wouldn’t occur to her Michael might be vindictive. He had ridden a sudden wave to political power, and already hinted he might use the relationship between Brett and Ariel for his own purposes.

  Ariel asked, “Any chance the Space Force will go away when they know we won’t give in?”

  Brett shook his head mutely. Ariel continued. “Kenny says a bloody war would split the Federalist Worlds, and you don’t have a genuine strategic interest.”

  Was that what people thought?

  Brett said only, “We didn’t want war. That’s what the negotiations were all about.”

  He let her absorb the implications, including his use of the past tense.

  She asked him, “Would you leave them? Stay here with me?”

  Brett considered. He no longer felt destroying the Oceanian overmind would be noble. He loved this world. He no longer completely trusted his superiors.

  Then he remembered his oath, and the juvenile delinquent he had been, and the officer the Space Force had helped him to become. He had sworn to obey any legal order. He hadn’t been asked to commit any war crimes, or seen indications that he would be. He remembered studying the civil wars that had covered much of the human arm of the galaxy before the Federalist Worlds had grown strong.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Ariel’s voice grew suddenly scornful. “Of course you can’t. You’re not just fighting for the Space Force. You’re fighting against the evil thing that stole my humanity. You like me now? Imagine how wonderful I would have been if I still had my soul!”

  Brett knew she was really angry at forces beyond either of their control. She couldn’t fight against them, so she lashed out at him. Or was this something she had repressed, never tried to discuss with him because it could only lead to futile arguments?

  Ariel pulled away from him and moved to the other side of the couch. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but even
now he also wanted to get her away from the hive mind. There was nothing he could say.

  Ariel yelled, “Has it occurred to you the overmind set me as a trap?”

  He had dismissed the idea long ago. And yet …

  Brett pulled himself into a normal sitting position. Ariel was still screaming. “Maybe you gave me the benefit of the doubt and decided I didn’t realize I was a honey trap. I’ll get rid of that now. Only a few thousand people function at the core of the overmind at any one time. We’re not really like brain cells, we understand things we’re closely involved with.

  “I’ll tell you something else. I remember every step I went through becoming a Neuron. Either I’m lying to you, or you don’t know what you’re afraid of.

  “One more thing before you go. I wanted to show you the way people join the supermind, so you’d know what it’s really like. I’m glad we cleared this up before I wasted time trying that.”

  At least for that, Brett had an answer. “I can’t do that. You’d spend the rest of your life thinking I used you. I just received a list of things I was supposed to try to get from the overmind.”

  “So either someone knows everything you’ve been taught is a lie, or thinks he’s sacrificing a pawn. You sticking with them? What the hell is the matter with you?”

  Ariel stood up and walked towards him. She didn’t look like she wanted to hug him again. Brett stiffened for the slap he had invited before their love affair began, but instead she grabbed the computer off his belt. She sat down about a foot away from him.

  Just as he started to gently explain she wouldn’t be able to work it, she grabbed his thumb and pressed it against the fingerprint recognition scanner.

  He should have stopped her then, but he would hardly have carried around classified information in his belt computer. He didn’t want to fight her, and despite everything he was intensely curious what she wanted from it.

  She released his arm, and it dropped to the couch. She still wouldn’t know how to use a modern issue military belt computer. It was nothing like Oceanian technology. He watched her concentrate a little, then start using the touch sensitive pad. Either some Oceanian had the skills to give her, or could come close enough to make a good guess. Apparently Ariel understood the technical language too.